anyway! the banana bread vendor at the farmers market is called “better than sex” but this year they changed it to “almost better than sex” which means the bread is just worse this year or girlie got some good dick since last summer
being in your 20s is like: i’m so young i’m so old. i should do everything i should rest. i can do what i want but i need to be careful. i’m an Adult™ but i need help from an Adult™. i’m so smart i’m so stupid. i’m leaving i feel left behind. i want to be a kid again and i can’t wait to be old. i’ve done a lot i’ve done nothing. i wanna be alone but i’m so lonely. like…. what the hell ??
Non-native English speakers shouldn’t worry too much about finding words that sound the same confusing (brake-break, through-threw) when learning English bc every single person with English as their first language has had the universal experience of using L’Oréal shampoo in the colorful fish bottles at some point when they were kids and believed that “tear-free” meant if it gets in your eyes you won’t cry (and learned the meaning of betrayal that day) only to discover later that “tear-free” meant your hair won’t get tangled and it will be easier to brush out and not your eyes won’t burn with the fires of hell if it gets in them soooo….
you ever just think about how this is how these two idiots met
“So, how did you two meet anyway?”
Sam’s Version: “Let me tell you about the time this motherfucker ripped the steering wheel outta my goddamn car while I was on the Capital Beltway goin’ 55mph…”
If I had a nickel for every big name Harry Potter fanfic writer who started their own cult, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Oh man, are we talking about Snape wives?? I because every time I remember them I just have to stare off into the distance for a while.
